Joe recently took a week off work. Mentally and physically, heâd hit a wall, and with his back pain much worse than usual, he knew he needed to step back, take a breath, and reset.
That wasnât easy for him to do.
Joe felt like he didnât have the right to feel off. Didnât most people experience back pain? He told himself he needed to keep a lid on the pain he was feeling â to just push through, do better, try harder. There were people out there working long hours just to make ends meet, dealing with ârealâ struggles. He had a steady job, a roof over his head, a good family, and solid mates. So, what was his excuse for feeling like he couldnât cope?
That guilt made things worse. He couldnât let go of the (ridiculous and outdated) thought that men werenât supposed to feel this way. He felt selfish for not just âpushing throughâ.
But when Joe finally brought up how he was feeling with his GP and then later his mates, he realised he wasnât the only one who felt like this.
And just like Joe, a lot of us living with musculoskeletal conditions are running on empty and just trying to keep it together.
So, for anyone out there who needs to hear this, ITâS OKAY.
Itâs ok to take a break or to rest. Youâre not a machine. Take the time you need to recover, both physically and mentally, from the things that are affecting you. That way, if you do return to what you were doing, youâll feel refreshed and better able to deal with everything.
Itâs ok to say no. We all want to please others, to be the go-to guy, so sometimes saying ânoâ can be a real challenge. But you need to weigh up how youâre feeling and all the things you have going on and decide whether you can take on something else. If you canât, then say no. Importantly, donât feel you have to apologise for doing so.
Itâs ok to listen to your body. In fact, itâs necessary. Living with a chronic condition means that you need to be aware of how youâre feeling. If youâre tired, rest. If your back hurts, move. If youâre feeling sluggish, get some air. Try and listen to whatever your body is telling you- listen and take action.
Itâs ok to talk about mental health. Actually, itâs vital that we do. The more we talk about mental health and how weâre feeling, the less stigma will surround it, leading to more people opening up about their mental health and getting help when they need it.
Itâs ok not to be perfect. No one is, no matter how they appear at work, around mates, or on social media.
Itâs ok to put yourself first. Sometimes we need to make ourselves our top priorityâ whether thatâs physically, mentally and/or emotionally. Youâll be better able to help others when youâve taken time to look after yourself.
Itâs ok to have an untidy house/car/office. Or for the grass to need mowing. Or for pet hair to cover every surface of your home. Sometimes things get a little untidy as we prioritise our health and wellbeing over making the bed, cleaning the bathroom or putting away the dishes. And thatâs ok.
Itâs ok not to watch the news. Take time to unplug from the often-chaotic 24/7 news cycle and focus on the world around you, including you, your family and friends.
Itâs ok to be kind to yourself. Our inner critic can be really loud at times. If yours is giving you grief, ask yourself â would you say those things to someone you love? The answer is probably no. So quiet that inner voice by making a list of three things you like about yourself, and keep it on your phone or stick it on the fridge. Remind yourself of these things regularly.
Itâs ok to forgive yourself. We often beat ourselves up for the smallest of mistakes. If you made a mistake â (or are being super-critical of yourself) â look at what you did, learn from it and move on â or talk about it if this is proving difficult. Donât just keep thinking about it â itâll only drive you crazy, add to any unease youâre feeling and make you more unhappy.
Itâs ok to not be ok and feel sad/angry/vulnerable. Your feelings are valid, and they matter. However, if you feel like negative feelings are taking over, talk with someone. A trusted friend or family member, or a healthcare professional. While itâs ok to feel like this from time to time, you donât want to feel like this all the time. And you donât have to. Thereâs help available.
Itâs ok to cry. We all have difficult days, and crying can be an outlet when we feel sad, stressed, overwhelmed, scared, angry or in pain. So, let it out.
Itâs ok to put your phone down. We look at them too often anyway, so put it away for an hour, a day, a week. Be present and be mindful of the people and whatâs going on around you.
Itâs ok to admit youâre struggling. And itâs ok to ask for help. It doesnât mean youâre not a capable person. It just means that in this time and place, you need some help. And thatâs fine. We all need help every now and then.
Itâs ok to take your time. We donât always have to be in a hurry. Make space to breathe and be still, meditate and be mindful.
Itâs ok not to have all the answers. Youâre not Google or ChatGPT. Saying âI donât knowâ is a valid and human thing to say.
Itâs ok to put aside your âto-doâ list and be spontaneous. Lists can help us feel in control and organised, but sometimes it feels amazing to toss the list aside and just do something unexpected, just because you can.
Itâs ok to do more of the things that make you feel good. Playing sport, catching up with your mates, picnics with the family, reading a book to your kidsâŠwhatever it is that makes you feel good can help you recharge your battery, reset and make you a happier person.
And remember, itâs ok to be you.
Contact our free national Helpline
Call our team if you have questions about managing your pain, musculoskeletal conditions, treatment options, mental health issues, or accessing services. Theyâre available weekdays between 9 am-5 pm on 1800 263 265; email helpline@muscha.org or via Messenger.
Crisis support
If this article has raised some issues with you, there is help available. Contact Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14 for 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention.
More to explore
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- Beyond Blue
- Healthy Male
- R U OK?
- Head to Health – Australian Government Department of Health